Cutting it close....

Ohh man...
So its been a while since I've blogged. I would say I have been busy and while that is part of the truth its not even near to the truth. I'm so sick of this drama in my life that I create. The end of the semester is upon me so I am going to shift in fast forward mode with studying intently, reviewing and relearning so much from this semester. Why do I dramatize relationships...? I mean I love the idea of love but I don't really think that I would ever have the courage to move forward. The thing is, before I ever even start looking outward for approval I need to look above and set my self right with God. I mean, I am not here on earth for myself. I exist for the glory of God and the mere fact that I am able to possibly bring glory to such a Magnificent savior is an honor. I find myself wrapped up sometimes in life's mundaness but the truth is that life is beautiful and everyday holds some wonderful importunity that I need to embrace. I am no like Melville's Scrivener who has lost the meaning of life, lost the pull to prepare and work for the future. God has a wonderful story written about for me and I just need to read it and tell it to others! I too long have focused on others opinions of me but in the end, it is not about them. No. it is about the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I was born to bring glory to God. When you think about it in that way than life seems to make more sense and the little things become insignificant as so the looming obstacles that seems to halt life. HE has conquered the world so writing a paper or passing a test is nothing compared to him. This life WILL pass and it is what we make of it. God gives opportunists and I need to walk through them. I tend to forget sometimes that other people are just that;people. I pray that this summer no right now starts the rest of my life. I am looking forward to California and seeing how God uses me there among the elderly. I pray that God opens doors and just really shows his plan in my life but above all else give me his compassion to show to those who need it and help the hurt all around me there and everywhere.

I lost myself today
I lost myself to the past I kept at bay
but there are always those things that won't undo
life would not be worth while if that where true..

I lost myself today
to the noise and nonsense in what people say
people are people who will always be rough and critical
this world was  meant to be hypocritical

I think I might find myself one day
the world seems so much brighter since the son has come to stay.
Life has beauty every where
the bigger picture is always there.

I found myself today
I found self and I won't turn away.
for God there are no limits
the past, my now, and future, to him I commit. 

The END

Why do all Good things have to come to an end? For a while, life seems to come into place and then all of a sudden the perfection starts to fray and what once was is now no longer. It hurts so much to have to move on but that is the only way to overcome and prepare for a better future. Things don't stay the same and sometimes its for the better. The present has an oppressive fog and now I have to say good bye. Life is complicated though, what is best does not always feel good but maybe, just maybe, the future will in turn explain this current misery where the different unknown is frankly terrifying. It's hard right now but God willing, I will get out of this slump. Everything never stays the same and really, It is time for a change! I hate this feeling of hopelessness and at the mercy of another and as one perpetuate of modern culture once said in a song "I'd rather die on my feet than live down on my knees". I never again one to know that a person is trying to do me a favor and pursuing this just out of obligation... there come a point where they started take me for granted and I refuse to be anybody's second choice. This rehabilitation of will power will come...with time... I hope, but for now I want it to be the way it was, or at least the way I thought it was.


If I could make these moments endless
If I could stop the winds of change
If we just keep our eyes wide open
Then everything would stay the same

-Josh Groban, Awake

~Long Hot SUMMER~

Its only a month into a mild winter here in Georgia but I wish for summer! To ease the perpetual boredom of this wet winter I watched endless summer series from the 2011 summer and now I can't wait for these series to pick up again in the summer! I know it's completely frivolous and pointless to pine for a television show but I hate to admit it but I have really become enveloped in these shows! It is not even that they are more spectacular than anything that plays during a normal television series but I feel that the shows get just a small amount of airtime that they try to cram great acting in a short period of time as to gain a larger audience....well for me it worked! :) So here's to next summer where I can't wait for the return of Covert Affairs, Drop Dead Diva, Rizzoli and Isles, and of course Burn Notice!! :)

The Tyme is now!

 :)) Здравствуйте! Я рад, что вы посетили мой блог сегодня, и я надеюсь, вам понравится, что вы читаете здесь! :) To all my Russian followers; Hello!  I am glad that you have visited my blog today and I hope you enjoy what you read here! Sadly. I do not speak Russian but I'm sure goggle translate will do my blog justice. LOL

Well the semester has arrives with a bang and here I am again already planning for tests, assignments and  starting to show signs that plague all  poor, overwhelmed college students this time of the year. This semester I decide to be ambitious and am currently enrolled in five classes so I am not struggling from a lack of work. On top of it all, last week besides a job offering I had to turn down, on Thursday, my poor faithful Volvo broke down in my church parking lot so I have been braving my Tuesday Thursday 100 mile commute with my Dad's ancient minivan. It does not even come close to being a stylish car but at this point I am just relieved it runs. Sometimes I wish that Georgia had better public transportation. There are getting there but not even getting close to cites like New York City. I have a friend who using a one time purchasde pass can travel by bus or by train virtually anywhere in the city without the hassles of a car.  I thank God I do have a transportation via a car but it is way to much maintenance. 
 Speaking of maintenance, I have found myself in the devastating habit of not investing in the freindships that mean the most to me and now I found myself with the people who mean so much to me not responsing to phone calls and no longer returning phone calls in in general not making time for our friendship just as I had no time for them a while back....):
Life moves on again...some relationships fade out and I guess that as we move forward, sometimes we move apart as well. Ahh well, have to get some sleep. Joyous fun awaits me tomorrow with a pack of little kids just waiting to give me a reason to loose my mind. My song for today... The Tymes

Something about January

       There is just something about January... after the excitement of the Holidays, poor January tries to make an impression but all it amounts to is unbearable winter weather and one Monday off for MLK day. Otherwise, the doldrums of January tends to lead me into a state of severe boredom!!! Pretty soon navigating the internet, catching up on shows and listening to old music becomes....well old.  Thank God school starts again next week or soon I'll be counting the spots on the wall as entertainment.
        Today besides the typical activities to ensure my boredom I reminisce on past regrets. you know those moments when you have to wonder...How stupid could I have been to do something so mindless!!! The memory I focused on today was one in which when an awkward situation arose instead of taking control of the situation, I played the coward and in the end lost a really good friend. Is it better to just move on or to try to fix the past? There are some memories that seem to be poignant only in the winter. Regardless what blemishes the past has, whether its something about January or something about the past, life moves on at an alarming pace and soon it will be February when it'll be Something 'Bout Love! <3

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh It sets you free

There’s something ’bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain
It’ll bring you to your knees

There’s something ’bout love
that breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh…
But don’t give up
There’s something ’bout love

2012 ....Here I come!

.....And the count own had begun. Another midnight approaches, another year ends and another begins. At the end of every year I mediate on what went well, and where I made I made mistakes but when that clock strikes 12 I'm just thankful to God that another year has passes by and I've entered a new one. Every new year's eve I'm so thankful that I've made it out alive again. So many don't. Kortney Gordon, baby Sophy, Jon Sharfenberger, and so many others who are missed by loves ones tonight.... life moves on and years come and we must move on with the times. I am so thanks full for God's love and mercy. So many times he could have left me fail at school on the road and in my familial life but he spares me every time. I am so thankful to have a chance to so what is right, a new chance o might necessary changes and improve myself in order to better serve Him. I've made friends of a lifetime and learned lessons that no book could have taught and most importantly, I have realized that it is not ourselves or people we should praise but the loving God who mercy endures forever. So here's to a Happy 2012! May it be filled with, love joy, peace and with a sense of meaning. La Multi Ani!!!!! :) :) :)

P.S If this were another century...I would assume a war is going on, lol ...but the Fireworks are pretty! :)

Music=LIFE

Every day is a miracle reaffirming the truth that life is worth all the trouble. Regardless of the insanity of the day, I seem to always find an appropriate song that perfectly displays my mood and outcome of the day. So with that in mind, I aim to find a song for everyday and relate to what happened in my life that day. I don;t have a glamorous life and many times a very plain day to day routine; sleep, food, school, work, repeat. If I don't find a way to live everyday I'll never have a life so by finding a song of the day I can forever associate my memory of that day with the melody tuning me to the right frequency.

Music is so much more words, it's life set to rhythm and to find that rhythm I have to actually live. While music is not the only thread that hold life's tapestry together, singing along to a song is a sure way to remember for a minute that today is now in the past but the future is filled with God's eternal promises. Sometimes I hear a song and its seems to transcend even time and space where what I hear is what I feel and every note is a little time capsule capturing that feeling forever in notes.The song chosen for  today as a precursor to musical journal coming is a simple song by Brazilian singer Michel Telo. Now Christmas is over and once the holy season has ended. I tend to fall in a benign existence and forgetting the awesome God that guides me everyday even when I think I'm all alone. The song emphasizes that in God, we have a that guiding voice to our lives and a way to overcome. Only then can we truly live a song tuned to heaven's frequency.

The Chorus:
Portuguese:                                                 English:
A voz, que move montanhas.                     The voice, that moves mountains.
A voz, que fez abrir o mar.                         The voice, that parted the sea.
A voz, que te chama e te escolheu.             The voice that calls you and chose you.
Parabéns, você venceu.                               Congratulations, you have overcome.
Meu amigo, essa é a voz de Deus.              My friend,that is the voice of God.

http://lyricstranslate.com

http://lyricstranslate.com

Psalm 57:7 "My heart is steadfast, O God. My heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord among the nations. I will sing of You among the peoples.