And so this is 2012

SO another year has gone by and not to risk sounding more like a Celine Dion Song...this year has been quite an adventure. I had my first serious infatuation, love, crush whatever...but I can say it was good for me. I failed a class, went on my first airplane trip and came to the conclusion that yes...the road into the medical world will be very hilly, bumpy with many forks but I know that God would not have put this desire in my heart if he had not fully prepared a way for me to be able to do it. every end of the year I have so many regrets but this year i can honestly say tha tI am proud of myself. I pulled myself from the lowest possible level of y life and no I have successfully started the uphill climb. Multumesc Doamne petru indurarea ta din ani de ani si ca tu esti cu noi si noi ne intorcem spatele del lat itne. Te rog sau ma acuti sa fi mai smerita. I pray that this yeah I humbly myself and actively work towards a deeper more meaningful and productive relationship with Christ. Thank you God for every miracle, all the blessings in my life. I still cannot understand the even through my unfaithfulness and doubts you remain my me side. Thank you.  The more I know about the love you have for everyone I am in awe. I want to be more like you.

Christmas past

Christmas has come and past.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

You never know how much hating someone can take out of you . I know that it is bad to hate but I cannot help it. This person irritates me, upsets me, sets my blood boiling whenever she is in the near vicinity. I is rude, inconsiderate, arrogant and generally an unlikeable person who goes out of her way for no one and loves herself above all. I have no Christmas spirit right now or the will to get up and put stupid decorations on the house. I just want to sleep, wake up and I don't know what i even want.

Conclusions

My head, rather my heart were all a flutter today. I can;t get Him off my mind and really I don;t know if I want to. The initial infatuation has matured into something a little less eager and something more wistful. I am in love with the though of love...rally I just don;t think I'm good enough. This semester has really helped me realize that I am capable of doing things and that's just it, I need to commit, submit and put my mind to it. I have read through some of my blogs and nearly half of my blogs are dedicated to my inadequacies and the need to do better. This semester I did ALOT better than I have done at any point in my college career and here are the reasons. I actually sat down and DID things. It was hard. It was like pulling teeth but it got done. And I actually have started to expand and work towards a future. I still have my doubts but I know am beginning to visualize a future where I am a physician. In part I have to admit that it is due to him. Seeing somebody who I respect having achieved the goals I am aiming for it really empowering. I may not be good enough for him bit I am increasing in self confidence. All in all, I have decided that that the best way to live life is not to let it pass by hop on that train and ride it fast. In the end, I deserve someone who loves me as much as I love him. Anything else is simply settling.


I met you like a little child
Wide-eyed and mystified
That You could love even me
So I'm here to testify
That it's been an amazing ride with You
And I have never walked alone
Wanna give You every moment, every minute
It's takes a lifetime to know You, to know You