Conclusions

My head, rather my heart were all a flutter today. I can;t get Him off my mind and really I don;t know if I want to. The initial infatuation has matured into something a little less eager and something more wistful. I am in love with the though of love...rally I just don;t think I'm good enough. This semester has really helped me realize that I am capable of doing things and that's just it, I need to commit, submit and put my mind to it. I have read through some of my blogs and nearly half of my blogs are dedicated to my inadequacies and the need to do better. This semester I did ALOT better than I have done at any point in my college career and here are the reasons. I actually sat down and DID things. It was hard. It was like pulling teeth but it got done. And I actually have started to expand and work towards a future. I still have my doubts but I know am beginning to visualize a future where I am a physician. In part I have to admit that it is due to him. Seeing somebody who I respect having achieved the goals I am aiming for it really empowering. I may not be good enough for him bit I am increasing in self confidence. All in all, I have decided that that the best way to live life is not to let it pass by hop on that train and ride it fast. In the end, I deserve someone who loves me as much as I love him. Anything else is simply settling.


I met you like a little child
Wide-eyed and mystified
That You could love even me
So I'm here to testify
That it's been an amazing ride with You
And I have never walked alone
Wanna give You every moment, every minute
It's takes a lifetime to know You, to know You